Dear Aunty,
Recently I was out for lunch and drinks to celebrate a friend’s birthday. One of the women she invited is someone I know but not well. She is lots of fun and quite vivacious but she has a terrible potty mouth, and the more she drank the louder she got and the ruder her stories and language became. I was a bit embarrassed but no one complained so it all seemed fine. However, about a few hours into the lunch I realised my boss was sitting a few tables away with his wife and son. I didn’t think he’d noticed me but when he left about half an hour later, he caught my eye and did not smile. He has been away on business so I haven’t seen him since but I am concerned that the woman’s behaviour might reflect badly on me and that I could end up in trouble at work because of it. What should I do?
Yours, Embarrassed
Dear Embarrassed,
Your Aunt is not one for looking back with rose-tinted spectacles. There is a lot about the “good old days” that was actually rather bad — like smoking while pregnant, lead paint and rampant gender discrimination in the workplace. But at the same time, One does think we have taken things too far in terms of how governed we are by political correctness and public decorum.
There is no denying that, by being so obsessed with “doing the right thing” as a society we have sacrificed some of the chaos, fun and spontaneity of life.
Thus your Aunt always finds it somewhat refreshing to encounter people who are a bit more free-spirited and who give not a jot about the perceptions of others, within reason of course. It’s not like there is much criminal activity occurring at the bingo, well apart from the occasional petty theft — Mavis likes to smuggle home an extra scone in her napkin. Then there’s Clara who One supposes does indulge in a bit of flashing to put off opponents from time to time, namely Bert Saunders, who never knows what to do when confronted with an exposed bosom and tends to become stupefied to the point where he stops concentrating at the game at hand.
But back to you, Embarrassed. Your Aunt’s belief is that what you do in your own time, as long as it is neither criminal nor hurting anyone, should be no one’s business. Not even your boss’. Odds are he is no angel and occasionally lets his own hair down while keeping his digits crossed that none of his employees spies him doing the one step forward, one to the side, one back, walk of shame home from a big day on the sauce.
Of course, if you got totally plastered and ended up swinging from the chandelier in the lunch venue, then there might be some grounds for your boss to suggest you are bringing the company into disrepute with your antics but that is not the case.
One is sure you are simply overthinking things, but for argument’s sake let’s say your boss was unimpressed by your friend’s behaviour, there is still no real grounds for him to blame you or chastise you at work.
Being in the company of someone who swore a lot and spoke about private parts in unsavoury terms, is not grounds for dismissal. If it were, your Aunt would have spent One’s entire life on the breadline!
One is sure your boss is unlikely even to mention it or, if he does, maybe he will just make a passing comment because let’s face it, in the grand scheme of misdemeanours, this is very low-grade.
So try not to worry too much about the situation and just wait and see what your boss says when he comes back.
Until then, please continue to have fun. It is very good for your health, Embarrassed, and a necessary outlet to the stresses of everyday life. Well that’s your Aunt’s excuse and One is sticking with it.
