Kanye West's Bipolar Apology Ignites Mental Health Conversation
When rapper Kanye West, now known as Ye, publicly apologised for years of erratic behaviour and anti-Semitic remarks, he cited untreated bipolar disorder as a major factor. The American musician took out a full-page advertisement in The Wall Street Journal to express remorse for his controversial comments, which have drawn widespread backlash. This statement has reignited global discussions about bipolar disorder, a condition often misunderstood and misdiagnosed.
A Personal Journey from Wollongong
For Hannah Gartrell, a 36-year-old mother from Wollongong, NSW, this conversation is deeply personal. She began self-harming as a teenager and was on anti-depressants by age 20. However, it wasn't until her third diagnosis that she began to accept and learn to live with bipolar disorder. Now, she bravely shares her story to raise awareness about the mental health condition.
"I didn't believe it because I had a lot of preconceptions about bipolar, so I got a second opinion which confirmed the diagnosis," Gartrell said. "But nonetheless, I still just felt a lot of stigma about it. So, I only stayed on my medication for a few months and then came off."
The Struggle with Diagnosis and Acceptance
For the next decade, Gartrell's mental health fluctuated. At 30, following a medical procedure, she sought help again. After months of trialling different medications and experiencing suicidal thoughts, she voluntarily admitted herself to a private psychiatric facility, where she received her third diagnosis in 2020.
"It was my third diagnosis but the one that actually stuck," Gartrell explained.
Bipolar disorder, previously known as manic-depressive illness, involves cycles between depression and elevated moods, known as mania. In young people, it can initially present as depression, making diagnosis complex. Australian research shows that from the average age of symptom onset—around 17 years old—there is a delay of approximately 12-and-a-half years before a bipolar disorder diagnosis is made.
Misconceptions and Realities of Bipolar Episodes
Gartrell highlighted that one of the signs of bipolar is that anti-depressants can worsen symptoms, leading to mixed cycling where depression combines with negative symptoms of elevated episodes. "There's a really high suicide risk during those periods," she said.
Reflecting on her experiences, Gartrell described the aftermath of episodes as challenging. "It's a really hard feeling because even though it's you, you're as much of a spectator as anyone else," she noted. During elevated periods, marked by heightened energy and impulsivity, she said there are other factors at play, even though it is still her speaking and acting.
Kanye West's Platform and Impact
Speaking about West's apology, Gartrell said, "It would be so hard because not only do you have the elevation and the mood changes, but you have the platform for everyone to see it as well." While she can't comment on the rapper's personal experience, she explained that episodes can bring an overwhelming sense of confidence.
"You think you can do anything and are untouchable," Gartrell said. "I know that's even more amplified the more severe your bipolar is. And if you had the resources Kanye has and the public platform he has, it would be very easy to increase the damage that you could do and the damage you would feel you would need to repair afterwards."
She expressed hope that his apology is genuine, acknowledging that his remarks have caused pain for various communities.
Stigma and Personal Challenges
Gartrell believes denial and shame made it difficult to accept her earlier diagnoses. "I was carrying a lot of stigma in my own mind about it and I still encounter that," she said, particularly around dating. Separated from her husband four years ago, she noted that dating has presented challenges, with people often misunderstanding bipolar as mere moodiness.
"People seem to think that bipolar is just moodiness and mood swings. I think there is this misconception that if you have bipolar, it means that who you are changes every 12 hours and your moods go up and down, which is just not the case," Gartrell emphasised.
Looking Back and Moving Forward
Reflecting on her 20s, Gartrell said she can now see how her behaviour at work was impacted, leading to inconsistencies and actions that weren't true to herself. "I would probably want to apologise to my boss at the time," she admitted. "It's probably where I did the most damage. But I was too ashamed. I was unmedicated and repeated that cycle for the next 10 years."
Now, with the clarity of her 30s and proper medication, she can identify what was influenced by her condition. Explaining the diagnosis to her eight-year-old son has required honesty and reassurance. "It's nothing for him to worry about," she said. "I tell him the adults are looking after me. He doesn't need to do anything or change anything. There's nothing for him to worry about. He just needs to be aware of it."
Raising Awareness and Destigmatising Bipolar
Gartrell shares her experience publicly to encourage others not to dismiss a diagnosis out of fear or stigma. "I had two psychiatrists telling me I had bipolar and I decided I knew better because of what I had seen about bipolar," she recalled. "I think it's really important to increase awareness, to destigmatise this condition."
If you need help in a crisis, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. For further information about depression, contact beyondblue on 1300 224 636 or talk to your GP, local health professional, or someone you trust.
