An Australian woman has turned to an advice columnist for help with a uniquely awkward family problem: her father's growing collection of homemade scrap metal garden sculptures, which she finds utterly hideous.
The Unwanted Metal Menagerie
In a letter to The West Australian's Anxiety Aunt column, the writer, who signed as 'Unsure', detailed her predicament. Her dad has taken up a new creative hobby, crafting large figures from scrap metal. So far, he has gifted her a dragonfly and an unidentifiable bird for her courtyard, both of which she described as "hideous".
To spare her father's feelings, she has resorted to hiding the artworks and only dragging them out when he visits, or preventing him from going outside if he drops by unannounced. The situation escalated recently when he presented her with a metal "guard dog" meant to sit at her front door. The recipient, however, thinks it looks more like a deranged goat.
While she wants to support her dad's creative outlet, she is desperate to avoid her home being overrun. "I am embarrassed to have them on display in case people think I like them, or worse still, that I have made them," she wrote.
Aunt's Tales of Tactful Troubles
In her response published on Saturday, 17 January 2026, Anxiety Aunt reassured 'Unsure' that her quandary is far from uncommon. She shared an anecdote about a neighbour who was caught secretly disposing of a life-sized cardboard robot made by her seven-year-old child, hoping it would be gone before bin day.
The Aunt also recalled a time when a neighbour named Bert Saunders took up macrame to impress a love interest, producing "grotesque" results. After being gifted one, the Aunt eventually told Bert it gave her "the heebie-jeebies" and had to go. After initial offence, Bert later admitted the piece was indeed hideous.
Practical Advice for a Rusty Situation
Anxiety Aunt offered 'Unsure' several potential strategies. The first and most direct is honesty. She suggested that the father might not be too bothered, and if he is, his upset is unlikely to last forever. "After all, art is subjective," she noted, even suggesting the reader could jokingly retaliate by mentioning childhood crafts he may have discarded.
If confrontation seems too difficult, the second option is creative camouflage. Planting trees, hedges, or shrubs around the sculptures could obscure them from view. For the guard dog, she proposed a witty excuse: tell dad it takes its role so seriously it stays hidden to surprise intruders.
"Perhaps one day you might even grow to love those rust-ridden objects as metal manifestations of a father’s love," the Aunt mused. She also floated a final, humorous possibility: that the father has been "having a lend" of his daughter the whole time, waiting to see how long it takes for her to confess or how many sculptures she'll accept.
