It has been a profoundly difficult year for men in Australia. This statement isn't about comparing suffering, but about confronting a stark reality: a significant number of men are failing to turn away from violence and control, leading to a national crisis.
A Litany of Loss and a Call for Accountability
The year has been punctuated by harrowing cases that have forced the nation to look inward. The murder of young water polo coach Lilie James in a school bathroom, the legal findings against Bruce Lehrmann in the Brittany Higgins case, and the sentencing of Greg Lynn for murder have all laid bare the deadly consequences of toxic masculinity and entitlement.
State Coroner Teresa O'Sullivan presided over the inquest into Lilie James's 2025 death, delivering detailed recommendations. Her murderer, who later took his own life, was tracking her location via Snapmaps—a behaviour friends mistakenly saw as affectionate. "It's an opportunity for us to think about young people and their role as bystanders," said Kate Fitz-Gibbon, a Monash University professor and domestic violence researcher who advised the inquest. She emphasised that while no friend is responsible, there are critical lessons in empowering young people to identify risks.
The "Man Box" and the Failure to Change
The problem is rooted in what US activist Paul Kivel termed the "man box"—the constricting set of ludicrous expectations and horrifying entitlements associated with traditional masculinity. Many men are being called to account but are resisting the fundamental change required to break free.
Coroner O'Sullivan's recommendations are thorough. They call for more education to raise community awareness of coercive control and how technology is weaponised for stalking and abuse. This is particularly urgent for those aged 16 to 24, where certain behaviours are dangerously normalised.
The need for effective respectful relationships education has never been clearer. As columnist Jenna Price argues, while girls need it, boys need it more. The challenge is transforming socialisation to foster kindness and nurture over violence. Experts like Matt Tyler from Jesuit Social Services' Men's Project are working on this very front.
Beyond "Out of Character": A Cultural Shift Required
A persistent, harmful narrative must also change: the tendency to label perpetrators as "delightful" or their actions "out of character." As Price notes, "all the alleged delight was expunged the minute they chose to murder." Justice Michael Lee's finding that Lehrmann was "indifferent to Ms Higgins's consent" and the appeal court's stronger conclusion underscore a fatal disregard for women's autonomy.
The powerful words of Peta James, Lilie's mother, quoted by the coroner, cut to the core: we must teach boys to respect and value women's opinions and choices, and to accept rejection.
The crisis extends beyond high-profile cases. The family of Greg Lynn's first wife, Lisa Lynn, revealed a history of threats and intervention orders, disputing the official conclusion of her death as suicide. This echoes a broader concern that police investigations into family violence often fall short.
Professor Fitz-Gibbon is unequivocal: the coroner's recommendations from the Lilie James case are relevant to every state and territory. "We have a national crisis in this country," she states. "These recommendations will progress much needed actions—if fully implemented and resourced, they will save lives."
As 2025 draws to a close, the path forward is evident. It requires a societal commitment to dismantle the "man box," implement robust education, and hold both individuals and systems accountable. The terrible year for men, defined by their own violence and resistance to change, must become a catalyst for a safer future for all Australians.
