For many Australian mothers, the festive season feels less like a holiday and more like a second, unpaid job. A growing movement of mums is now pushing back against the immense pressure to create a picture-perfect Christmas, choosing instead to quietly quit the most exhausting traditions.
The Rise of the 'Bare-Minimum' Christmas
This shift towards a simpler holiday is a direct response to burnout. A recent check-in by the breast pump brand Bubka with its community revealed telling data. One in three mums said they will be skipping at least one Christmas tradition altogether this year. Furthermore, a significant six in ten mothers admitted they are intentionally planning a "bare-minimum Christmas" to reduce their mental and physical load.
Alicia Segal, co-founder of Bubka, sees this as a positive change. "Mums are realising they can ask for better," Ms Segal told news.com.au. "They can choose rest, boundaries, and have a good day with their kids and their family. It doesn't have to be defined by Santa photos, matching PJs and spending the entire day in the kitchen."
Elf on the Shelf Gets the Boot
Nowhere is this quiet quitting more evident than in the widespread rejection of the Elf on the Shelf. On TikTok, mothers are turning their backs on the tradition in record numbers. A post by influencer Mikaela Ladocki, which showed her gleefully throwing the elf over her shoulder, perfectly captured the sentiment. Her caption read: "I'm not cut out for that life."
The comment section on such videos is filled with solidarity. One mum wrote, "I told my kids it's only for naughty kids that need extra watching," while another declared, "Another job added to my list and I'll expire." Some are taking even more drastic measures, with one mother announcing she had "cancelled Christmas" entirely to give herself a necessary break.
The Psychology Behind the Pullback
This trend is not just about laziness; it's a serious reaction to unsustainable pressure. Clinical psychologist Frances Bilbao, founder of Mums Matter, explains that stress can double or even triple for mothers during December. "Christmas amplifies an already uneven distribution of the mental load," Ms Bilbao said. "At Christmas, that load expands exponentially: gifts, events, school breakups, co-ordinating extended family, travel logistics, food preparation, keeping traditions alive, and managing the emotional needs of children who are overstimulated and overtired."
She notes a clinical shift towards values-based decisions. Mothers are now asking, "What actually matters to my family?" and letting go of traditions that only create stress. This proactive approach is crucial for mental health. "Children don't need intricately curated traditions; they need present, regulated adults," Ms Bilbao explained. "A simpler Christmas can actually increase the 'magic' because parents are less stressed and more emotionally available."
Even retailers are catching on. Kmart's $12 giant tree-topper bow has become an unofficial mascot for the movement, offering a simple, one-step decoration solution. Its popularity is so high that the item is currently sold out, symbolising the widespread desire for a less fussy festive season.
For mums feeling the December strain, there is hope. As children grow, the dynamic can change. One mother, Leah, shared that she now manages expectations by having two Christmas trees: a 'nice' one for her and a 'kids' tree' they can decorate wildly. This simple compromise allows the whole family to enjoy the season without pushing mum to the brink.
