As the Australian summer hits its stride and the festive season envelops the nation, a familiar narrative of carefree celebration takes hold. However, for a significant portion of the population, this picture-perfect ideal of Christmas joy masks a much more complex and often painful reality simmering just below the surface.
The Weight of Performative Festivity
Emma Garlett, a Nyiyaparli-Yamatji-Nyungar woman and legal academic, argues that we are often conscripted into a collective performance during December. The cultural script calls for backyard cricket, lavish seafood spreads, and champagne-fuelled euphoria. Yet, for many, this mandated merriment feels exhausting and inauthentic.
Life's challenges do not pause for the holidays. Grief, trauma, and financial worry do not observe public holidays. The silence of an empty chair for a lost loved one, the quiet tension of a dwindling bank balance, or the stress of using services like Afterpay to fund gifts can create a stark dissonance. Garlett points out that for nearly 50 per cent of young Australians experiencing psychological distress, this clash between expected joy and internal reality is particularly acute.
The Statistics Behind the Struggle
This experience of isolation is not uncommon. Research supports the sense of loneliness that can pervade the festive period. A national survey by the Australian Red Cross found one in three Australians often feels lonely at Christmas.
Furthermore, the financial burden of the season carries serious mental health consequences. Data from Medibank reveals that a third of the nation enters the New Year with their mental health affected by the cost of Christmas celebrations. Garlett cautions that we have mistakenly conflated the price of the feast with the value of family connection.
Building Boundaries for Wellbeing
To combat these seasonal pressures, Garlett advocates for the conscious creation of wellbeing boundaries. She offers several practical strategies for those finding the holidays to be the hardest work of the year.
Firstly, it is essential to give yourself permission to say no to draining social obligations. Your energy is a finite resource, and you do not owe anyone your personal exhaustion. Planning a clear exit strategy from gatherings can empower you to leave when your social battery depletes.
Financial boundaries are equally critical. Setting a strict spending cap and remembering that your worth is never defined by a receipt can help maintain a crucial buffer against post-Christmas stress.
For those feeling the pressure of comparison, committing to a digital fast or muting social media reels can provide respite from the curated and often fake reality presented online.
The Gift of Authentic Connection
The core message from Garlett is a powerful reminder: it is okay not to be okay. True connection, she argues, is found not in the performance of joy, but in the courage to be seen in one's genuine struggle.
The greatest gift we can offer—and permit ourselves—this Christmas is compassion and support. By acknowledging the varied experiences of the season and prioritising authentic wellbeing over performative festivity, we can foster a more inclusive and mentally healthy holiday for all Australians.
