In a culture that often champions relentless determination, knowing when to persist and when to pivot can be the key to both personal and professional success. According to clinical and forensic psychologist Tarnya Davis, understanding this delicate balance is crucial for mental wellbeing and effective decision-making.
The Psychology of Perseverance
Australian society typically values determination, courage and commitment to goals, but Davis questions whether this mindset always serves us well. Research shows that many people struggle to recognize when they're sticking to a goal purely for the sake of it, well past the point where reconsideration would be wiser.
Davis draws parallels with various scenarios where escalation of commitment occurs: the gambler who can't leave poker machines after significant investment, partners who remain in unfixable relationships, and courageous climbers who sometimes die because they refuse to turn back. Even businesses can fail by sticking rigidly to outdated models despite clear evidence suggesting change is needed.
Organisational psychologist Adam Grant describes this phenomenon as "escalation of commitment to a losing course of action" in his TED talk. Davis explains that people often struggle to rethink their approach when things aren't working, partly because we're invested in being right.
The Social Pressure to Persist
Our society tends to reward people who stick to their opinions, while those who change their views risk being labelled as flip-floppers. Yet those who adapt and adjust are actually learning and growing, according to Davis.
The psychologist uses a powerful analogy: "Sometimes the GPS might be taking us forward, but to the wrong destination." Rather than remaining entrenched in familiar patterns, Davis encourages developing both grit and cognitive flexibility.
She advocates for cultivating openness and vulnerability to reflect curiously on whether continuing on the same path remains the best choice. This balanced approach allows for perseverance when it's warranted while creating space for necessary course corrections.
Practical Applications in Daily Life
Davis extends this concept beyond major life decisions to everyday situations. She shares a personal experience of becoming irritated during a beautiful family beach outing despite the ideal circumstances. This illustrates how our brains are naturally wired to detect threats and problems, as explained in Rick Hanson's book "Wired for Happiness."
One effective strategy Davis recommends is practicing gratitude to counter our negativity bias. Simply paying attention to what we're thankful for – family, health, friendships, or living near the ocean – can help shift perspective.
The psychologist emphasizes that while struggles and discomfort are inevitable, we can choose how we respond to each moment. These choices not only affect our immediate experience but also influence how we'll likely respond in similar future situations.
Workplace and Relationship Implications
Davis applies these principles to workplace dynamics, noting that incivility in professional settings costs both individuals and organizations. Research by social researcher Christine Porath shows that disrespectful behavior reduces motivation and performance, affecting both direct victims and witnesses.
Contrary to common fears, being respectful and considerate doesn't make people less effective. In fact, good leaders who listen, acknowledge and respond to others tend to lift entire teams.
Davis suggests that during every workplace interaction, we should consider the kind of person we want to be and how we can contribute to more civil, productive environments.
Ultimately, Davis's insights provide a nuanced understanding of when determination serves us and when it becomes counterproductive. By developing both grit and the wisdom to know when to change course, Australians can navigate personal and professional challenges more effectively while safeguarding their mental health.
