While the festive season is often painted as a time of joyous gatherings and close connections, this picture-perfect image can amplify feelings of isolation and loneliness for many Australians. According to a leading psychologist, this experience is more common than people think.
The Hidden Struggle During the Holidays
Phillipa Brown, psychologist and chief executive of MeHelp Psychology, explains that the Christmas period can significantly intensify feelings of loneliness. She notes that life changes throughout the year often come into sharp focus during December.
"People might have recently moved or not have seen their loved ones in a whole year," Ms Brown said. "Things might have changed, there might have been life transitions, a separation, or grief. Some people don't have family to see, or it might be their first Christmas without someone they love."
Critically, Ms Brown emphasises that loneliness isn't solely about physical solitude. "Loneliness isn't just about being alone," she clarified. "It's about feeling disconnected, for some people. And for some reason, Christmas tends to magnify that." This means even individuals surrounded by crowds at holiday events can experience a profound sense of isolation.
How You Can Make a Difference
Even if you aren't personally struggling, Ms Brown urges Australians to consider those in their social circles who might be finding the season difficult. She recommends giving the gift of genuine connection by proactively reaching out.
"Tell people why you're glad that they exist. Tell people why you're grateful to have them in your life," she advised. "If you feel like someone is struggling in any capacity, don't think that Christmas is just going to be a happy time for every single person."
She suggests specifically considering those who have faced challenges over the past year. "Have a think about those who might have been struggling this year, those who have been trying their best to make things work and have had a really hard time in doing so. Maybe they haven't said anything, but you've noticed it. Those people are the most important to reach out to this Christmas."
A simple message of gratitude or an invitation for a coffee or walk can have a profound impact. Ms Brown stresses that consistent outreach is more valuable than a single check-in, as it gives people the opportunity to feel comfortable and open up over time. "You don't know how much that can change someone's week, day, or year," she said.
Strategies for Creating Your Own Connections
For those worried about their own feelings of loneliness, Ms Brown recommends being intentional about creating social contact. "If we reach out to someone, even if it's a message or a call to say something like, 'I'm thinking of you', that's a way to create a connection," she explained. "It's about being intentional about reaching out to people and not waiting for those invitations."
Establishing small, regular routines can also provide crucial social interaction. This could involve grabbing a morning coffee with a neighbour, scheduling a weekly lunch with a friend, or making a regular call to a family member who lives interstate. These tiny interactions count significantly towards our wellbeing.
"Interaction and connection regulate the nervous system," Ms Brown noted. "If you're talking to someone, that helps to reduce the emotional overload."
For those without family or friends nearby, community events offer a valuable alternative. "There are always local community lunches or neighbourhood events. Many councils and charities tend to host Christmas Day gatherings or events leading up to Christmas. Maybe it's a great time to find new connections," Ms Brown suggested.
Professional Support Is Available
Ms Brown wants Australians to know that if they are feeling lonely this Christmas, they are not alone, and professional support remains available throughout the holiday period. Online telehealth companies like MeHelp Psychology will have psychologists working, including on Christmas Day itself.
"We know that mental health does not take a break," Ms Brown stated firmly. "We have some fantastic psychologists who are even working on Christmas Day."
If you or someone you know is in need of support, you can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636.
