Dear Aunty
My daughter has good intentions but she will not let me be me. She has started insisting on coming shopping with me so she can help me “select more modern, on-trend clothing”. I don’t want to be “on trend”, the term alone suggests someone who has not spent years working out what does or does not suit them and dressing accordingly. I am someone who knows what I like and likes what I know. Is that such a bad thing? And it is not as if my look is embarrassing or ridiculous. I don’t get around in stained tracksuit pants and holey sweaters, even when babysitting my grandchild. Quite the opposite. I like slim-cut trousers and twinsets and pearls. I would describe my look as timeless and I have no interest in becoming a fashionista at 65! So how do I tell my daughter to back off? I have tried politely saying thanks but no thanks, but she is not taking no for an answer.
Yours, Pearly
Aunty's Response
My dear, you sound like a bona fide fashion icon. Has your daughter never seen Breakfast at Tiffany’s? Does she not realise that some looks never go out of style?
There is much to be said for getting to know your body, your vibe and curating a wardrobe that works for you. It isn’t something that comes easy to everyone, and many end up spending a fortune each season trying to find looks that suit them or keep abreast of trends.
Your Aunt learnt a long time ago that following fashion fads is a one-way street to looking ridiculous.
Recently, One went shopping with Beryl from the bingo. The budget these days only extends as far as Target, so that is where we went. Beryl is something of a dedicated follower of fashion, so she convinced your very reluctant Aunt to try on some barrel jeans and trendy sneakers.
Your Aunt is all of five foot nothing (and shrinking), so with jeans that puffed out in all the wrong places and flat shoes, One looked more Coco The Clown than Coco Chanel. One told Beryl she could park her fashion advice and opted for a lovely flattering mulberry-coloured cashmere sweater — Target really has elevated its offerings in recent years, has it not?
One is almost tempted to tell you to raid an op shop for some ridiculous clothing — thinking hugely baggy jeans, oversized multi-coloured sweaters, crazy hats or baseball caps (worn backwards of course) — and wear them any time your daughter comes to visit.
Surely then it would only be a matter of time before she realises your stylish classic look is a vast improvement on “gangsta granny” and begs you to revert back to wearing twinsets. That might seem an extreme way of handling things, but it would certainly be an amusing exercise.
The other option is to humour your daughter a little by making minor modifications here and there to slightly vary and update your look without completely altering it. So you could perhaps swap loafers for some on-trend sneakers or go shopping for some new jewellery to alternate with your pearls. That way you and your daughter can enjoy some time together browsing the shops without you feeling pressured to compromise on your style too much.
Other than that, One would say stick to your guns. Having the confidence and self-assurance to shun a fashion fad in favour of sticking to key looks that suit you is something to be proud of. Your daughter will likely come to appreciate that about you in time. She may even end up poaching your look or at least some of your key pieces because as we know, everything eventually comes back into fashion if you wait long enough. Although your style will likely be rebranded as “classic core” or some other heinous Gen Z term.
