Camera IconBen Harvey decodes Rita Saffioti's Budget speech. Credit: The West Australian
What Rita Saffioti said in her Budget speech and what she actually meant.
What the Treasurer said: In this Budget, the Cook Labor Government doubles down on our efforts to boost housing supply.
And what she meant: John Carey says he’s pulling every lever. He’s pulling something but it’s not producing any houses . . .
New investment, new measures, new ways to support Western Australians to get into a home that’s right for them.
Like a cardboard box.
Dwelling investment is forecast to grow by 9.5 per cent in 2025-26, the strongest growth in 12 years.
That’s a lot of cardboard boxes . . .
Our unemployment rate has remained consistently low by historical standards.
Any moron can get a job. Just ask my speech writer.
Our fiscally conservative approach to budget management continues to be recognised.
Mental note: do not blush when reading this line.
But we know that the job of prudent financial management never stops.
Or starts.
In this Budget, we are delivering targeted measures to support families most in need.
Like struggling premiers who can’t afford two mortgages so have to move to West Perth
We are creating a new Grand Carers Gold Card.
Codenamed Operation Golden Girls.
These investments will see more than 5000 social and affordable homes delivered over the next four years.
Which means everyone will have a Paxton for a neighbour.
This Budget will deliver a $48 million investment to establish two Housing and Infrastructure Advanced Manufacturing Facilities
They’re actually cardboard box factories.
This Budget provides $692 million to support regional housing supply. We welcome $170 million of investment by Rio Tinto, BHP and Hancock Prospecting to support this initiative.
WA Inc 2.0 here we come.
We are working across Government to unlock new land supply.
Welcome to Perth’s newest suburb: Dongara.
This Budget will deliver a $100 fuel support payment to every WA driver’s licence holder.
Which won’t even get you to Lancelin, so you’ll have to walk the rest of the way home.
We are boosting hospital maintenance by $214 million.
And we’ll probably still have bloody lead in the water at the children’s hospital.
We are also implementing measures to improve patient flow.
If you’ve got no discharge, you’ll be discharged!
We are stepping in to support older Western Australians to receive the appropriate care in the appropriate setting.
They’ll get a Panadol in the carpark.
We are investing an additional $60 million to transition older patients from hospital to community settings.
Like freeway underpasses.
We are investing $85 million to support the development of the green iron and steel industry.
Codenamed Operation Hocus Pocus.
We continue this momentum with an additional $70 million including funding for the 2028 Kimberley Total Solar Eclipse.
Because we like it when the punters are in the dark.
We are getting on with building Perth Park – our premier sporting and entertainment precinct that will help boost our local tourism economy, support our live music and arts industry, and create new sporting opportunities for Western Australians,
Racetrack? What racetrack?
Over $44 million of additional funding will be provided to the creative industries.
To support the people who wrote this Budget.
This Budget continues our commitment to our Made in WA strategy.
Warranty is void if taken out of box.
$107 million is budgeted over the next four years to deliver the WA-made electric ferries.
BYO oars. And batteries.
This Budget continues our Government’s track record of supporting the most vulnerable in our community.
Like Lachlan Hunter.
We are investing a further $46 million in our Cool the Schools program.
The kids all get an icy pole.
Mr Speaker, as you would have heard, many of the new initiatives we have described today are in regional Western Australia.
Codenamed Operation Yokel Vote.
Western Australians are aspirational, hard-working and positive people. We stare down threats.
Like Baz.
This Budget is a positive plan for our future (and my future premiership) and I commend the Budget to the House.
Get the latest news from thewest.com.au in your inbox.
Sign up for our emails
