Discovering you've been deliberately left out of a social gathering by a close friend is a deeply painful experience, one that can trigger feelings of rejection and self-doubt. This exact scenario was recently laid bare in a heartfelt letter to The West Australian's Anxiety Aunt column, highlighting how adult friendship conflicts can sting just as sharply as those from the schoolyard.
The Heart of the Hurt: A Festive Season Snub
In the letter published on Saturday, 3 January 2026, a reader using the pseudonym 'Forgotten' described her acute distress. She explained that she found out a good friend had hosted a festive season gathering and invited all their mutual friends – except for her and her husband. The discovery was accidental; she only realised when she drove past the friend's house and saw the cars of their entire social circle parked outside.
The situation was compounded by a particularly hurtful detail: the hostess primarily knew most of the other attendees through 'Forgotten' herself. Despite her husband's advice not to worry, the reader was left questioning if she had done something to cause offence, torn between letting the incident slide or attempting to clear the air.
Anxiety Aunt's Empathetic and Worldly Wisdom
In her characteristically vivid response, Anxiety Aunt, the columnist known as Jay Hanna, acknowledged the universal sting of exclusion. She drew parallels to her own experiences in the 'cutthroat professional dance world', where alliances shift rapidly. She also referenced a perennial complainer in her life, 'Bert Saunders', to illustrate how entitlement over invitations can be tiresome.
However, Auntie made a crucial distinction. While it is anyone's right to choose who enters their home, she pointed out the clear breach of etiquette in this case. "It is bad etiquette that you aren't on the invite list given you are the reason she has got to know many of the other friends," she wrote, validating the reader's sense of injustice.
Navigating the Path Forward: Confrontation or Acceptance?
The advice offered was measured and practical. For a one-off incident, trying to put it aside might be the best course. However, if the hurt is too deep or if a pattern emerges, Anxiety Aunt suggested a calm, non-confrontational approach.
She recommended inviting the friend for coffee on neutral ground. The goal is not to accuse, but to express awareness of the exclusion and gently ask if something has caused offence. "What you want to avoid... is a game of tit for tat," she warned strongly. Retaliating by excluding the friend from a future event might feel tempting but risks breeding lasting resentment and fracturing the entire friendship group.
Anxiety Aunt concluded by wishing 'Forgotten' good luck and extending Happy New Year wishes to all readers, expressing hope that 2026 would be a 'cracker' of a year. Her final advice underscored the value of preserving social harmony over the fleeting satisfaction of revenge, a mature perspective on a very human emotional wound.
