The recent AFL draft has concluded, changing the lives of a select group of young Australian footballers forever. While most people understand the physical demands of making it to the professional level, few realise the psychological gauntlet these teenagers must first survive.
The Interview Room: Where Football Dreams Get Weird
Before any young player hears their name called on draft night, they must endure what might be the strangest job interview process on Earth. While running, jumping and beep testing present physical challenges any fit teenager can manage, it's the interrogation rooms where things take a truly bizarre turn.
Imagine sitting down for what you think is a standard job interview, only to be tested on your intelligence, resilience, creativity, crisis management, moral compass, hypothetical criminal activity, and your ability to spell supermarket items backwards under intense pressure.
As veteran sports commentator Adrian Barich notes, this approach would be unthinkable in almost any other industry. "Imagine a mining graduate in Kalgoorlie sitting down for a job interview at BHP and being hit with: 'Spell sausage backwards, quickly, and don't sweat on the chair,'" Barich muses.
The Questions That Leave Draftees Scratching Their Heads
Over the years, AFL recruiters have developed a collection of truly head-scratching questions designed to test young prospects in unexpected ways. The mathematical challenges include problems like "Divide 739 by 3," while the linguistic tests involve spelling words like "avocado" and "Adelaide" backwards - particularly cruel for West Australians, Barich notes.
Then comes the ethical dilemma round with questions like: "If your brother had a broken leg in the back seat and you came to a red light, would you run it?"
But that's just the warm-up. The interview quickly escalates into philosophical territory with mind-benders such as:
- "Is cereal a soup? Defend your position."
- "Do you believe in ghosts?"
- "If aliens landed on Earth, what would you say to them?"
- "If you could remove one colour from the world forever, which one would it be?"
Suddenly, these 17-year-olds are expected to channel Einstein, Bear Grylls and the Dalai Lama all at once.
Psychological Warfare and Random Chaos
The interview process then ventures into what feels like psychological profiling with questions that would make ASIO operatives proud:
- "Tell us every reason we shouldn't draft you."
- "What's the biggest lie you've ever told your parents?"
- "What would your ex-girlfriend say about you?"
- "What's the most illegal thing you've ever done?"
Then comes the random chaos round where recruiters seemingly throw caution to the wind with requests like:
- "Bark like a dog."
- "Teach us something in 30 seconds."
- "Sing your favourite song."
And the all-time classic that has become legendary in draft circles: "Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?"
The Method Behind the Madness
Despite how random these questions may appear, there's a deliberate method to this interview madness. AFL clubs aren't just trying to embarrass or confuse young players - they're testing fundamental qualities that determine success in professional football.
Recruiters want to see if these teenagers can maintain composure under unexpected pressure. They're looking for authentic responses rather than rehearsed answers. Most importantly, they're testing how prospects handle curveballs without panicking.
As Barich explains, AFL life constantly throws unexpected challenges at players: "verbally abusive crowds, hostile media, pressure, tough coaches, freak injuries, and overconfident teammates." Football tests mental fortitude as much as physical ability.
The reasoning is simple: if a teenager can spell "Washington" backwards while seven recruiters stare into his soul, he can probably handle the pressure of the MCG during a close final quarter.
No other profession puts candidates through such unusual pre-employment testing. Not doctors, not pilots, not CEOs. As Barich concludes, only astronauts face similarly comprehensive psychological evaluation.
So when the next generation of WA talent gets drafted from Albany to Joondalup, Kalgoorlie to the Kimberley, remember they've survived more than just physical tests. They've conquered the beep test, the 2km time trial, and an interview process featuring riddles, curveballs, maths exams, moral dilemmas, and spelling bees.
If they can handle all that, they're truly prepared for anything professional football can throw at them - even the challenge of rebuilding a team like the West Coast Eagles.
