Lydia Lunch, the iconic frontwoman of Teenage Jesus and the Jerks, has never been one to mince words. In a recent interview, she shared her disdain for sandwiches, pop culture, and even funerals, while reflecting on her upcoming Australian tour performing the songs of Suicide.
On Stage Chaos
When asked about the most chaotic on-stage moment, Lunch recalled a drunken heckler who made a rude remark. 'I invited him up to the stage and cracked him in the neck with a blackjack. He fell to his knees and I told him to suck it himself. I'm always prepared!'
Influence of Suicide
Lunch first saw Suicide at age 16 in New York. 'It was the mania and musical schizophrenia from one song to another. I liked that confusion of emotion. Alan Vega had that thousand-yard stare, screaming into the void. They sounded like no one else.'
Connection with Tex Perkins
Lunch is also touring with Tex Perkins. 'I don't remember when I met him, but I was always a fan of Beasts of Bourbon. I find him adorably funny, sexy, raunchy—everything rock'n'roll should be.'
Remembering Rowland S. Howard
On missing her late collaborator Rowland S. Howard, Lunch said, 'Missing people is a western form of selfish greed. How about celebrating what there was? I'm glad I got to celebrate his life with him. The dead don't give a shit.'
On Naming Places After Musicians
Regarding laneways named after Howard and Spencer P. Jones, Lunch remarked, 'They might not even receive it postmortem. But it's better than having a hamburger named after you.'
Sandwich Thoughts
When asked about a hypothetical sandwich named after her, Lunch replied, 'I don't like sandwiches at all. Bread is a trick on poor people. So it would be a sandwich with no bread—something meaty, juicy, big and bouncy, just like me.'
Pop Culture and Shock
Lunch rejects the label of 'shock' artist. 'I don't find anything I've done shocking. Pop culture is an existential vacuum that sucks everything in. The internet wants people's dirty laundry—I don't pay attention to that shit.'
On Nick Cave
When asked about Nick Cave's transformation into an agony uncle, Lunch simply said, 'NO COMMENT!'
Agony Aunt Aspirations
Lunch already writes a column for the Idler and previously had a sex advice column called Tough Love. She recalled a memorable question: 'Dear Lydia, I'm making Thanksgiving dinner—can I get salmonella if I ejaculate into the turkey? I don't remember the answer, but the question was delightful.'
Funeral Plans
Lunch has no plans for a funeral. 'There won't be a funeral. You'll never find my body. When I'm ready to take myself out, I'll be gone in a flash. I will not die in my sleep. I'll just evaporate somewhere, watching as my body goes back to the ether.'
Lydia Lunch performs Suicide songs in Melbourne (June 17-18), Brisbane (June 20), Sydney (June 21), Adelaide (June 24), and Perth (June 25). She also performs with Tex Perkins in Melbourne (June 19), Brisbane (June 20), and Parramatta (June 27).
