In a hostile world, many parents worry about raising a kinder generation. Science supports that empathetic children tend to have more positive interactions and satisfying relationships, says Jessica Rolph, co-founder of early childhood development company Lovevery. Studies show that kids who form strong relationships perform better in school.
Jaime Thurston, chief executive of the School of Kindness, calls kindness “the most important thing we can teach children.” She notes that kindness benefits both the giver and receiver, improving physical and mental wellbeing. Psychotherapist Anna Mathur adds that kindness involves resilience and critical thinking, helping children engage thoughtfully with the world.
Experts agree that role-modelling is key. Developmental psychologist Bruce Hood says children are strongly influenced by what they observe adults doing. If adults model sharing and generosity, children copy that behaviour. Mathur suggests letting children see kindness in daily life, such as opening doors or sharing snacks.
Child psychologist Laverne Antrobus emphasises the importance of “please” and “thank you” as building blocks of kindness. She calls them “the oil in the engine” of consideration. Asking children “What kind thing did you do or see today?” can spark conversations about empathy, as suggested by Thurston.
Praising effort rather than outcome helps reinforce kindness, Mathur advises. For example, saying “It was so kind of you to ask your sister if she was OK when she fell over” affirms empathetic behaviour. Antrobus notes that children’s faces light up when their kindness is acknowledged.
Lorraine Candy, author and podcaster, placed a note on her front door reading “Do one kind thing today” as a reminder for her pre-teen children. She ignored their eye-rolling, seeing it as part of her own parental role-modelling.
