Laverne Cox's memoir, Transcendent, offers an immersive and often harrowing account of her upbringing in Mobile, Alabama, and her arduous journey to stardom. The actor, presenter, and LGBTQ+ campaigner details the brutal childhood that shaped her, including a pivotal incident at age eight when a teacher's reaction to her playing with a geisha fan led to conversion therapy and reinforced feelings of being unlovable.
Early Trauma and Conversion Therapy
Cox saved her pocket money to buy a fan decorated with Japanese geishas, which became her favorite prop for dancing and recreating scenes from Gone With the Wind. However, when she used it at school, her teacher Mrs. Ridgeway pulled her out of class, paraded her before other teachers, and called her mother, Gloria. Gloria, who often called Cox a “sissy” and used homophobic slurs, angrily questioned whether Cox wanted to end up like the teacher's son—an effeminate child now living on the streets of New Orleans in a dress. Gloria then signed Cox up for conversion therapy, which failed but deepened Cox's sense of shame. Three years later, at age 11, Cox attempted suicide.
Struggles in New York and the Entertainment Industry
Before landing her breakthrough role as Sophia Burset in Orange Is the New Black, Cox spent over 20 years living hand-to-mouth in New York, taking acting classes and attending auditions. She faced discrimination as a black, non-binary woman in an industry rife with prejudice. Her perseverance through many dark nights of the soul eventually paid off, but the road was fraught with rejection and financial hardship.
Mother-Daughter Conflict
The central conflict in Transcendent is between Cox and her mother, Gloria. Gloria's cruel warnings about ending up homeless in a dress haunted Cox well into adulthood. Gloria frequently expressed disappointment in Cox and her twin brother Lamar, claiming she couldn't afford them and that they could do nothing right. In one harrowing incident, after Lamar and his friends broke a neighbor's window, Gloria took both children to the home of their estranged father, who called them “fucking freaks.” The next day, their stepmother dropped them at a police station, and they were placed in an orphanage for a month before Gloria retrieved them.
Understanding and Forgiveness
Cox recounts these events not to settle scores but to understand her mother's behavior. Gloria endured severe financial hardship and grew up in an abusive household. Despite the trauma, Cox credits her mother for enrolling both children in the Alabama School of Fine Arts, where Cox studied dance and Lamar studied visual art, setting them on paths to successful careers.
Loneliness and Defiance
Cox vividly describes the loneliness and constant vigilance required as a gender non-conforming person. She recalls being on high alert in public, scoping for signs of hostility, and running when something felt wrong. Back in her apartment, the tension turned to despair. Yet, through it all, Cox nurtured an inner defiance that led her to embrace bold fashion, strut rather than scurry down the street, and eventually live openly as a trans woman advocating for others.
A Story of Resilience
Transcendent is a story of resilience and rebellion—a performer whose ultimate revenge for decades of abuse and rejection is success. Published by Merky, the memoir serves as both a personal testament and a beacon for those facing similar struggles.
