Harry Kane scored twice in the final 15 minutes to keep England's World Cup hopes alive against the Democratic Republic of Congo in Atlanta, averting what would have been one of the team's most humiliating tournament exits. The second goal was sublime, showcasing the finishing skills Kane polished during his loan to Bayern Munich.
Starmer's Political Dream Tied to England's Success
For Prime Minister Keir Starmer, England's World Cup journey is deeply personal. He dreams of becoming only the second prime minister after Harold Wilson to lead his country to World Cup glory, maintaining the record of the men's team winning major tournaments only under Labour governments. A victory would guarantee him a state funeral and eternal gratitude from the nation.
At 6:30 pm on Wednesday, that dream was flickering. Within 15 minutes, Kane's goals revived it. Starmer envisioned an easy victory against Mexico in the Azteca, a penalty shootout win over Brazil in the quarter-finals, and a convincing semi-final triumph against Argentina.
Choreographed Victory and Political Maneuvering
Starmer had the rest of the week tightly planned. Andy Burnham might be crowned Labour leader on Friday 17 July, but Starmer saw that as a minor detail. He would remain prime minister until at least Monday, and the country's focus would be on the World Cup final. He imagined flying to New York alone in the prime ministerial jet, staying at a top hotel, and drinking pints with the UK ambassador.
At the final, he would tolerate Gianni Infantino and Donald Trump boasting about crypto, knowing he would soon tell them they were losers. He envisioned a stress-free 3-0 victory with Kane scoring twice and Jude Bellingham once. At the final whistle, he would run onto the pitch, be mobbed by the team, and lift the World Cup, breaking Trump's heart.
Post-Victory Celebrations and Legacy Issues
Starmer planned to invite the England team back on the private jet, take selfies, drink champagne, and arrive in the UK on Monday for an open-top bus tour. He would organize a penalty shoot-out in the Downing Street Rose Garden with Jordan Pickford in goal. Throughout the day, he would ignore panicky WhatsApps from Andy Burnham demanding a timetable for his resignation.
At 9:30 pm, he would address the nation: "Dear England, this is the greatest day of our life. I promised you a World Cup and I've delivered it."
Before that, Starmer attended to other legacy issues. On Thursday morning, he was in the Commons to apologize to mothers and children affected by forced adoptions imposed by church and state from the end of World War II until the mid-1970s. "The apology was long overdue," he said. "This was not a matter of judging the past by today's standards. It was wrong then and it is wrong now." Shadow chancellor Alex Burghart apologized on behalf of the Tories, thanking Starmer for attending in person—something Kemi Badenoch had not done.
