An American woman who has been living in Sydney for the past nine months has recounted a story that shocked her to her core, revealing what an Australian man said to her on a first date that left her feeling objectified, unsettled and unwilling to date again for months.
A Promising Start Turns Sour
The woman, Beck Perry, shared the story in a TikTok video that went viral, explaining that as she was new to Australia, she decided to test the waters and downloaded Bumble 'to give Australian men a chance' after taking a break from dating.
'So I moved to Australia about nine months ago. I hadn't been on a date in about seven months,' she said. 'But I decided to give Australian men a chance, so I went on five dates with five different men, and the last man was the cherry on top for why I have not gone on a single date since.'
The pair met for brunch and immediately hit it off. 'Basically, so we had one date and we met up for brunch and everything seemed to be going really well,' she said. 'He was funny. We had really good banter.' After brunch, the pair spent another hour or two together as he showed her around Sydney.
The Disturbing Turn
However, she said the mood shifted when the man suddenly declared, 'I'm gonna break your heart.' The woman said she immediately disliked the comment, arguing some men had adopted a 'push-pull' dating strategy. 'I hate when they do that. Why do they do that?' she said. 'I don't care for it. It gave me the immediate ick.'
She said she immediately addressed it with her date. 'Things were going so well. Why did you have to say that?' she asked. The man then explained he had recently accepted a job in New York and would be moving overseas in three months, meaning he did not see a future in any potential relationship.
Ms Perry said she was unfazed by the revelation, noting they had only just met. 'Cool, this is my first date so I could give two f***s if I ever see you again,' she recalled thinking. She told him, 'You're not gonna break my heart because I'm not gonna date you.'
A Shocking Follow-Up
The conversation then took another turn – one that left the woman unsettled. The man responded: 'Well then we can just be friends with benefits?' While stressing she had no issue with arrangements that worked for other people, she declined and instead asked whether they could simply be friends. 'We have like a fun dynamic, you don't just want to be my friend?' she asked. Without hesitation, she said the man replied: 'Why would I be friends with you if I can't f*** you?'
Ms Perry was left stunned, saying the comment made her feel objectified and showed little consideration for her feelings, leaving her feeling uneasy. 'It makes sense to me that he would only want to spend time with me if he was getting something from me,' she said. However, Ms Perry shared that she felt slightly relieved that the man had shown his true colours immediately, before becoming emotionally invested.
Deeper Issues in Modern Dating
Ms Perry said the exchange left her disturbed, claiming it revealed a deeper issue in modern dating where some women are treated as a means to an end rather than people in their own right. 'If you feel comfortable saying that, it's because you are so comfortable in your position in society and you see women as an object so much that it hasn't even flagged to you as a problem,' she said. 'It kind of scared me a little bit, if I'm being honest.'
Social Media Reactions
The clip quickly gained traction among both men and women, with some viewers sympathising with Ms Perry's reaction, while others praised the man for being transparent about his intentions rather than wasting her time. Some shared the interaction reinforced their decision to stay out of the dating scene. 'I was considering dating again but thank you for the reminder,' one person wrote. 'I gave up completely. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I'll probably be single for the rest of my life.'
Another questioned what was driving what they viewed as increasingly entitled behaviour from some men. 'I'm curious what people think of what is causing this?' they wrote. Others defended the man's honesty. 'The guy at least was up front so give him credit for his honesty. I would rather honesty from day one of his true intentions than waste months,' one commenter wrote. 'At least he was honest,' another said. 'I appreciate his honesty, they had that going for them right?'
Others disagreed. 'Exposing this behaviour as it is, it's so important. I see a lot of comments saying at least he was honest. No, he was disrespectful and entitled. Honesty can be expressed in a respectful manner,' one person wrote. 'It's the audacity.' 'The lack of respect is so disgusting,' another said. 'Yeah the disrespect is beyond me,' said a third.
