Reader's Dilemma: Returning to Work After a Break
After six months of unemployment following redundancy, a reader is re-entering the workforce. Initially, they aimed for a complete career change, but that plan fell through. During their time off, they focused on being present with their kids, attending school activities, baking, exercising, reading, and managing household chores. While boredom occasionally crept in, having one parent at home created a smoother, simpler family life.
Now, returning to work for financial stability feels lacklustre. The reader finds LinkedIn content—AI-generated posts and bombastic language—off-putting. They question whether people genuinely care about such material. Having accepted a role primarily for the money, their passion has evaporated. Work no longer feels meaningful, especially if it encroaches on home life and forces kids into after-school care. The prospect of attending meetings and pretending to be engaged all day seems daunting. The reader asks how to regain their mojo or accept work as a necessity, while being a good role model for their children.
Eleanor's Advice: Redefining Work's Role
Eleanor Gordon-Smith suggests that being a role model involves consciously and thoughtfully deciding one's relationship with work, and communicating that openly. For some, work is a primary source of meaning—a drive to excel. For others, it's a point of pride that work holds no deeper significance; feeling nothing at work is a realisation, not a problem. Each side may view the other as misguided: the ambitious as fools, the indifferent as wastrels.
However, many people privately waver. After a career break, returning to work can feel like stepping into a conformist world. Alternatively, years of prioritising one path may spark curiosity about what might have been achieved elsewhere. Achievements can lose their lustre once attained. Yet, rethinking our relationship with work is challenging when social circles share similar attitudes.
Practical Steps: Finding Peace with Instrumental Work
Most people must work, and children will likely need to exchange time for money. Being a good role model doesn't require a specific stance on work. One doesn't have to force passion for a boring role. Instead, parents can demonstrate that financial necessity leaves room for a range of relationships with work—and that individuals can think, talk, and read about which relationship they prefer. You don't have to accept the prevailing culture uncritically.
One option is a purely instrumental relationship: work for money, without expecting or mourning the absence of genuine stimulation. Being conscientious at work and then going home can restore mojo. Once you stop expecting to care about company metrics, it's less disappointing when you don't. You can get through the day cheerfully without resenting it for not fulfilling you, saving energy for meaningful parts of life.
Alternatively, one might adopt a different stance. The key is to start by asking whether work must be meaningful. The answer can clarify concrete steps at work and what values to impart to children when they face similar decisions.
