Financial pressures are making it impossible for many cohabiting couples to separate, a phenomenon known as 'separation under the same roof' (SUSR). Federal circuit and family court of Australia divorce application data shows the proportion of divorcing couples who remain under the same roof after separation has risen steadily from 15% in 2020–2021 to 19% in 2024–2025.
Personal Stories of Strained Separations
Mary-Ann and Bill, a couple whose marriage had effectively ended years earlier, found themselves unable to physically separate due to financial constraints. After Mary-Ann suggested moving out while preparing the family home for sale, Bill insisted she continue paying half the mortgage. 'Nope, no, no, no, I'm not going to do that,' she recalls him saying. 'You have to pay half the mortgage until it's all done.' For Mary-Ann, that was financially impossible, forcing them to stay together for five more months.
Cost of Living as a Relationship Pressure
Elisabeth Shaw, clinical psychologist and CEO of Relationships Australia New South Wales, says the cost of living is 'front and centre' among reasons couples delay physical separation. 'But there are two parts to it – one is affordability, the other is the lack of housing stock.' Nearly a third of Australians report that the cost of living is putting pressure on their relationship, according to Relationships Australia research, making it the number one relationship pressure.
Housing Prices Locking Couples into Marriages
University of Sydney economists Professor Stephen Whelan and Dr Luke Hartigan found that rapid house price growth might be locking people into marriages. 'Put simply, divorce is a decision that brings with it significant costs,' they observed. Hartigan explains, 'When you have higher house prices it's more costly to run two households so you're more likely to stay in one household.'
Case Studies of 'Stressed but Stuck' Couples
Shaw outlines the story of 'Robert' and 'Jane', who sought counselling after eight months living under the same roof while trying to agree on a property settlement and parenting arrangements. 'They didn't have enough money to buy two homes and even two rental properties was a stretch,' Shaw says. 'Both were increasingly stressed but were stuck.' Another couple spent a year in conflict under one roof, with children drawn into the combat. 'Their financial picture looked pretty bleak and some of their stuckness was driven by fear of poverty,' Shaw adds.
Passive Aggression and Dating Complications
Tara Houseman, a family law specialist at Relationships Australia NSW, has seen couples divide homes into zones, with mundane issues becoming flashpoints. 'We had clients who were living under the same roof and he would walk in the hallway and turn the lights on every time he'd go in, and she would walk in the hallway the next minute and turn the lights off – it was this kind of passive aggressive kind of thing,' Houseman says. When one partner starts dating, tensions can escalate. 'If one person says, 'Well, we're separated, so I'm going online and I'll be dating and if I'm out overnight you should tolerate that because we're separated', that can be excruciating,' says Shaw.
Financial Abuse and Safety Concerns
For some women, separation under the same roof can be dangerous, trapping them with abusive partners due to the cost of leaving. Sally Renfrey, financial counsellor and national manager of the Centre for Women's Economic Safety money clinic, says, 'On an income support payment it's virtually impossible to find an affordable rental. These are the impossible choices that women experiencing violence have to make, and it's all of those things that hold women in place.' One woman interviewed said her partner's violence escalated over five years, and although she left several times, financial pressures repeatedly drew her back. 'I just couldn't afford to live.'
Uncertainty Until Asset Division
Renfrey notes that separating couples typically face the same practical dilemma: if they own a property, neither party knows what assets they will have until it is sold and proceeds divided. That uncertainty makes it difficult to know whether they can afford to buy again or even what they can afford to rent. 'There are two elements to it,' Renfrey says. 'One are external economic factors and macro factors of lack of supply and high cost, but the other is the lack of financial certainty until there is a resolution on the split of wealth.'
Mary-Ann and Bill worked together to fix up their home for sale, with the real estate agent calling them one of the loveliest couples she'd ever worked with. 'It was the first time in his life he'd been tidy without being told to.' Despite the amicable arrangement, Mary-Ann moved out six weeks before settlement, saying, 'If I had to keep looking at him I was going to become angry.'
