Beloved actress Debra Messing has told Sky News' Sharri Markson about her advocacy journey, from her subtle nod in Will & Grace to the friends she has lost following October 7.
When Debra Messing spoke out against Hamas' atrocities on October 7, 2023, she expected her industry and community to join her - instead, the Hollywood actress lost friends and became alienated.
Speaking at a Sydney event hosted by Jewish Communal Appeal (JCA) on Sunday, the 57-year-old told Sky News Australia's Sharri Markson: "I feel like my life is everything before October 7 and then everything after. I will never be that person again."
Messing was sitting in the kitchen watching the news when her life changed forever: she learned of the multiple terror attacks targeting Israelis on Simchat Torah, which took over 1,200 lives.
"The shock was instant, the trauma was instant, the fear was instant and the grief was instant."
"I expected the entire globe to mourn with us," Messing admits, especially her "Hollywood community". "My entire career I have been part of this very liberal, inclusive community, and so I thought, 'All right, I'm just gonna be one little voice in this cacophonous call for empathy and legitimacy for the Jewish people'," she said.
"No one stepped forward. I remember just being so shocked and, of course, angry."
What "stunned" Messing the most was that none of her industry friends spoke up for the 250 hostages' release, despite there being "mothers and babies and children" who had been taken by Hamas.
"I felt betrayed, I felt abandoned, I felt maligned. I felt like I was completely alone. I lost so many friends, and I know so many Jews who have had the same experience."
And that's not the only thing Messing's vocal advocacy cost her. According to the actress, speaking up has been "the hardest thing that I've ever experienced in my life.
"I felt incredibly depressed for a period of time," she said, adding: "I really needed help from a therapist to help me talk it out and to figure out why this is happening. What I've come to is that this is my purpose right now. It has appeared and this is what I'm meant to do."
Messing was first made aware of antisemitism at a young age, being called Jewish slurs while lining up for gym class and waking up to graffiti on the family's car. "My grandfather visited us when I was about seven and we woke up and a swastika was painted on his car."
She added: "We had big round globe lights at the end of our driveway, and people would take bats to [them] and smash them on a regular basis over and over and over."
These experiences made her decide that it was safer to stay silent about her identity, adding: "It was very clear to me that we were hated."
"And so I just thought, 'You know what? I'm never gonna talk about being Jewish - and I'm gonna try and straighten my hair'," she quipped.
However, Messing didn't stay silent for long, becoming an advocate for Judaism early in her career and even asking for her character in the hit sitcom Will & Grace to be Jewish. "I recognised that while we were trying to change hearts and minds around the gay community that there was an opportunity to change hearts and minds around Jews and the Jewish community."
"I felt like it was a responsibility to do so." The series, and its trailblazing messages, "are one of the things I'm most proud about in my entire life", she added.
And while Sydney is nearly 10,000 miles from Messing's home in New York City, finding out about the Bondi Beach Massacre on Hannukkah last year hit a personal note for the star, who confessed: "It felt like it was October 7th again".
Speaking directly to Australians affected by the atrocities on December 14, she said: "I just want us to tell you all that the Jews in the diaspora have been mourning the loss of your citizens and people from your community. We all pray for your healing," she said, dubbing the tragedy that took 15 lives "horrifying" but, ultimately, not a surprise considering the rise of antisemitism across the globe.
However, despite the numerous attacks on Jews over the years, Messing has not lost hope for a brighter future for her Jewish community, adding that it "is more united than it has ever been".
"As Jews, we need to be louder and prouder because they want to silence us and they want to scare us and they want us to feel shame," she said.
"What gives me hope is that we're still here after 3000 years, and we're here to bring light into the dark, and we are living in a darker time, but we are still showing our light, and we will get through this together."
