Comedian Jack Rooke, creator of the Bafta-winning Channel 4 series Big Boys, looks back at his childhood and the profound influence of his grandmother, Sicely, who helped him create his breakout show Good Grief. Rooke, now 32, is taking an updated version of the show on a UK tour starting at the Roundhouse in London on 14 August.
Childhood Memories with Nan
Rooke recalls a childhood photo of himself at age three on a swing, pushed by his grandmother. 'She’s in a lovely powder-blue two-piece while I am sporting an iconic all-in-one black-and-white striped mini boiler suit dungaree scenario,' he says. 'For reasons we will never know, I look rather unimpressed.'
His parents worked often, so Sicely picked him up from school twice a week. 'We were always out and about, often in a park, supermarket or shopping centre,' Rooke says. 'She was an ex-dinner lady, and her energy was soft and gentle. She was very active and a real prankster.' Her name, Sicely, was unusual: 'Nicely but with an S,' she would say. 'It’s a non-name and nobody I am related to has any idea why she was called that.'
A Shared Rebellion Against Driving
Rooke and his grandmother bonded over their refusal to drive, while the rest of the family were mechanics or black-cab drivers. 'When I was old enough to drive, I refused to learn because gays don’t drive. Gays are born to be driven,' he jokes. He never discussed his sexuality with her, but says, 'Being gay feels quite low down on the list of things about my identity that I am most preoccupied about. Grieving, or class or size, are far more prevalent subjects in my mind.'
Food, Love, and Grief
Rooke’s grandmother expressed love through food, often slipping a Werther’s Original into his pocket or cooking large meals. But she also used food to tease him: once, he found a plate in the fridge with a note saying 'Homemade apple pie for you,' only to discover it was a stack of carrot sticks with a Post-it that read 'lose some weight' and a smiley face. 'Nan had quite a laddie sense of humour,' he says.
When Rooke’s father died of cancer, Rooke was 15 and his grandmother was 80. 'We were experiencing this huge loss and both missed him in different ways,' he says. 'Our common ground was that nobody was talking to us about it and everyone was being awkward.' This isolation sparked the idea for Good Grief.
Creating Good Grief
At age 21, while studying journalism at the University of Westminster, Rooke asked his grandmother to discuss her grief on film. 'She was elated and so encouraging,' he says. 'I was the first person in my family to go to university, and she was chuffed to help.' They filmed conversations at her kitchen table in Harefield, west London. 'At first she was reluctant to be filmed,' Rooke recalls. 'We had to make sure we got her right side, and eventually she warmed up.'
The show debuted at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in 2015. 'It was on at four o’clock in the smallest room and I was out flyering every day,' Rooke says. 'Within a week the first three reviews were all five stars. Nothing will ever beat that buzz.'
Loss and Legacy
Sicely died suddenly before Big Boys aired, but Rooke treasures the recordings they made. 'The grief I felt for her was different from when Dad died,' he says. 'This time it was less traumatic because through making Good Grief, I had this wealth of film, audio clips and photos of her that I just didn’t have with my dad.'
Rooke’s mother often says she misses Sicely more than her husband. 'To my mum, and to me, Nan was a huge crux of support,' Rooke says. He now writes speeches for family funerals, believing they 'need a rebrand.' He adds, 'I’d much rather hear about the holiday in Magaluf where they got rat-arsed than platitudes about how they will be missed.'
Rooke credits his grandmother for his career: 'I owe my nan my career. Good Grief was the first time I made something, the first time I could be creative professionally. And that all comes down to Nan – that she was always so emotionally available and encouraging to me. For that I feel very lucky.'
