Jillian Pretzel always took her dad's advice—then did the opposite. Her father gave smart, financially minded suggestions, but they often led her down paths that didn't feel like 'her.' She explores when and how we can stop listening to our dads.
Childhood Sports and Disappointment
When Jillian was a kid, her dad advised her to pick a sport, practice a lot, and stick with it. He envisioned her joining the high school team, making friends, and aiming for a college scholarship. Despite being terrible at sports, she chose tennis and spent years taking lessons and playing with her mom after school. She didn't love the game but persisted. In high school, she tried out for the team and barely lost the last JV spot to a slow-moving junior. Crushed, she cried to her dad that afternoon. This pattern repeated: smart advice followed by disappointment.
Horseback Riding and STEM
Another year, her dad encouraged horseback riding lessons, hoping to bond over his love of horses. But Jillian was terrified of animals and could barely approach a pony. Later, he advised her to study STEM, even buying her a telescope. She wanted to be interested but wasn't excited by constellations or the moon. Frustrated, she wondered why following good advice left her feeling lost.
Different Worlds
Growing up, Jillian and her dad were very different. He was rugged, outdoorsy, and no-nonsense—loving cars, fishing, and hunting. She was a mild-mannered vegetarian who hummed show tunes. They saw each other only every other weekend, making him feel like he was on another planet. She suspects this distance drove her to follow his advice, wanting to show she respected and loved him despite frequent disagreements.
The College Decision
At 17, her dad urged her to attend a big, low-tuition school near his house so she could live with him. But her gut told her to choose a smaller, quieter university she had toured with her mom, where she felt at home. It was more expensive and farther away but felt 'more me.' After asking a 19-year-old friend for advice—who said 'Do what feels right'—Jillian registered for the smaller school and loved it.
The Experiment: Do the Opposite
She started an experiment: whenever her dad gave advice, she listened carefully and then did something else. It worked. Instead of science or sports, she found a love of books and art. Knowing she's not an animal person, she discovered she enjoyed working with kids and went into teaching. Today, she's not a wealthy scientist or top athlete, but she's happy.
Using His Logic
Over time, Jillian realized that while she usually doesn't follow her dad's advice, she often uses his logic—being bold, financially minded, and forward-thinking. In that way, his advice has served her well. She doesn't think he was ever upset when she didn't take his advice, but he was usually confused by her choices. Recently, when she told him she was considering teaching college after middle school, he shook his head and said both jobs sounded awful: 'I'd rather nail my hand to the table than spend all my time in an English class.'
Summer Plans and Disney World
This summer, Jillian considered taking her three small kids on a cross-country trip to Disney World. Her dad advised against it, saying to save money and that kids are happy at a playground. It was sound advice from a caring father. She hoped she wouldn't regret ignoring it. But she booked the plane tickets that night, and they had a marvelous time.
