When Matt Cain learned he had become an uncle at age 22, he was living in Madrid as part of a languages degree, immersed in the city's gay scene. The news felt abstract until he returned home six weeks later to meet his nephew. Instantly filled with love, he also felt nervous and unsure how to express it, given the era's homophobic attitudes.
Navigating the Role of a Gay Uncle
Cain grew up in a time when gay men were often viewed as threats to children, with Section 28 prohibiting the 'promotion' of homosexuality in schools. Determined to stay out of the closet, he had to forge his own path as an uncle without any manual. Over 15 years, his one nibling grew to seven, and he dedicated time to each, from week-long holiday care to trips on the London Eye and adventures in Italy.
Healing Through Family
The children also helped Cain heal his relationship with his hometown, which had been marred by homophobic bullying. They gave him a positive reason to return, transforming his sense of family and self. As they grew, the relationship evolved from hero worship to adult friendship, even amid differing politics.
Cain now sees his role as a privilege, allowing him to invent a unique relationship that broadened his niblings' horizons. In return, they taught him that queer identity offers the freedom to break societal boxes and redefine family—a lesson valuable beyond the LGBTQ+ community.
The Castle of Stories by Matt Cain is published 4 June (Pansy, £9.99).
